There is Always a Bigger Picture
Our pastor said something the other day that really struck home for me. He said, "Everybody, at any given time is either coming out of a crisis, just moving into one, or is smack dab in the middle of one!"
He talked about how today, we all want "easy", we want "instant".
He said things like, "we need to bust through the quitting points."
A couple of weeks later a guest pastor talked about "the deserts we go through in life, and why we all need to go through them." The deserts are defined as the tough times, that strengthen us , and show us what we are made of. Only when we bust through the quitting points, will we learn who we are and what we are capable of.
Equally as important, he reminded me that sometimes we go through things so we can minister to others who are going through the same kind of trials we have been through. Not only do we understand someone's pain better when we have been through it, but that person is more receptive to our help when they know we have been there; they have confidence that you really understand what they are going through, and a renewed hope that they can break through. Here you are today, and you are ok.
Many of you have heard this story, but I will share it anyway: For a number of years, my husband and I enjoyed a fantastic income. We traveled a lot, had a beautiful home, drove new cars and so on. One day, I was talking with a leader about leader retreat. She shared that she couldn't afford to attend. So I said, "Just hold 6 extra shows between now and retreat and that will pay for it!" She responded with, "Shari, If I could hold 6 extra shows, I would buy my kids socks!"
I thought, "if you were really committed, you would figure out a way to go." I didn't get it. God made sure I did.
A few years later, I left my corporate job and went back into the field. About a year later 9-11 hit and my husband was laid off. It didn't take long for us to be in financial trouble. It didn't take too much longer after that for us to be wiped out. We went beyond broke, we had to leave our beautiful home, we were no longer driving new cars, in fact mine was 14 years old, we had phones turned off, water turned off, you name it, we experienced it. We argued over spending $2.98 on milk when Safeway had it for $2.39!
Suddenly, I got it! If I could do 6 more shows, I would pay a bill, or buy groceries! It was a horrific time, yet, I'm so glad I went through it. I needed to go through it. I needed to understand what other people were going through. I needed to live and walk in their shoes. I fear I would never have understood, had I not lived it. It's amazing how quickly you can forget what it's like to be under such a financial burden. I pray that I will never again be so insensitive to another.
My good friend Cindy has said to me many times, "Shari, what are you supposed to learn from this, because if you don't learn it, God will just give the same lesson again!"
I believe in my heart of hearts, that things happen for a reason. I don't mean that you should live passively and let life come to you. But when the unexpected happens, there is always a bigger picture that we can't see or understand, or an important lesson to be learned.
A while ago, I was working for a company in a corporate position. It was going great, my training team and I were making great progress and doing some pretty cool things. I felt so good about it in fact, that I decided to ask for a raise and a promotion.
I met with my boss, and much to my surprise she fired me. (I guess that meant the raise and promotion were out of the question)! I was devastated. I'd never been fired before in my life! In fact, I was the one they always brought in to "fix" things. I went home to my apartment, cried for a couple of hours, called my husband who was back in Washington and shared the good news. Bless his heart, it took all of about 5 minutes for him to digest, adjust, and say, "Well the good news is, you can come back home!" (I had been flying home Friday nights and back out of state every Sunday afternoon where I would spend the week).
He called me back a couple of hours later and said he thought it was time for me to start my own business. It was something we'd talked about doing in our retirement years, but he said it was time. I do like to do things my own way. That can certainly make me a challenging employee. My mantra has always been, "I'd rather get fired than not make a difference." Well, there you go!
In hindsight, I can see that the tough time, and getting fired, forced me into doing something I probably would have put off for many years. I started my own business. Today, I am so glad I got fired.
I remember about two and a half years ago our youngest daughter shared with us that she was pregnant. So the bad news is that she's pregnant. The good news is that she is pregnant. Yes it will be tough to be a single mom, but we knew she would be a great mom. It happened and you can't take it back.
Things happen, it's how we react to what happens that is important. What we do with it. We said over and over to Carli when she was pregnant, "The bad news is your life will never be the same; the good news is, your life will never be the same."
We don't always know the specific "why" when the "deserts" in our life are happening. In fact we almost never do, but if we are patient, it is always revealed. We didn't know all the reasons that our daughter had to go through this at the time. Immediately we saw so many good things come out of this situation. We watched Carli's immediate and extended family wrap around her like a warm blanket in the cold, being reminded again what dear friends we have as so many lifted us up in support and encouragement. Of course there were some pretty tough things to go through as well. But today we wonder where the sunshine was in all our lives before Isabelle arrived! She is 20 months old and has us all wrapped around her little finger! Carli is a great Mom! What felt like a crisis at the time is nothing but pure joy today.
I wasn't fired just so I could start my own business. I could still be working out of state, only home Friday night and Saturday. If I were, I wouldn't have been there when Carli needed me. I could have taken another corporate job and been on the road 5 days a week or living out of state again. But I didn't. Because I was fired I started my own business.
I am able to be very involved in this little darling's life. I am able to help Carli with childcare. In fact Carli works for Average To Excellence so Isabelle is here at the office Monday - Friday. We all take turns playing with her during the day. I can schedule my days anyway I choose. You can't do that when you are corporate. At the moment, I didn't understand why it was happening, why I was fired; Now it all seems crystal clear.
Life happens. We are all either coming out of a crisis, going into one, or smack dab in the middle of one. There is always a bigger picture we can't see at the time, or a lesson we need to learn, either for our own growth, or to be of support or help to others. It's still tough, but we will always be better for it! - Shari Hudspeth
