32 X 32 Update

I'm two and half months into the new year and my list is getting longer. Okay, not really. It just seems that way to me. As of today (my least favorite day of the year), I officially have three months left to complete roughly 26 items on my list. There are several that are in progress and will hopefully be completed in time.

I figured since Valentines is generally a drag for me, I would find some way to make it more interesting. Seems like an ideal time to scratch something off my list. I can't think of a better way to humiliate myself than to put on the dreaded swim suit and take my winter white, pasty self to the pool for some water zumba. That's right...#4 is complete. Booyah! I'm not sure I would call it fun but, it was a good mix up to my work out. The best part is that my lack of coordination and dance ability is hidden under water. Awesome.

Other updates...

12. Start learning a new language. I selected Italian. I purchased a phrase book and cd to start learning some of the basics. Clearly I won't be able to speak or understand much by May, but hopefully I'll be able to toss around a few phrases. Maybe someday I'll be fortunate enough to actually go to Italy and use it.

13. A set of 50 push ups. So....what if they're all "girly" push ups? Does that count? At this point I'm not even close to doing 50 girl push ups so I'm thinking that may have to be the goal. 50 standard push ups, mmmm...unlikely.

14. Start a business. Although I can't officially cross this off my list as complete, I'm definitely getting closer and I do intend to have filed the name with state by May. A website is already in the works. Resources for other essentials are being researched. Many thanks to the friends that are supporting me in this venture. :)

15. Learning a design/software program. Ha! Okay, I've decided so far this stuff isn't cut out for me. I downloaded GIMP a free program to try to learn the basics on. I don't get it. I need some serious tutorials. I'm not sure if the Adobe software would be any easier. I do hope to have something to show for this.

28. Go on a blind date. Still need some help with this, peeps. ; )

29. Find a mentor. I think this one can be considered complete. I met with someone I respect and admire and she was kind enough to lend me a fresh perspective and get me in touch with some new contacts. I'm very fortunate to be surrounded by so many great individuals.

Okay, I think that about wraps up this update. Thanks for following. Now..I'm about to take myself out to meet a friend for an anti-V Day drink. Cheers!

Heavy

We've all seen the articles giving advice on how to prepare for the financially unexpected. They say you should have enough savings to support you for six months. They're right, you should. But what if you were struggling to make ends meet while you were employed, let alone save a little extra for a rainy day? Unfortunately, that time has come. It doesn't feel like a rainy day, it's more like torrential downpour.

The financial burden of losing a job is stressful, but no one talks about the emotional and psychological burden. Where are the 'how to' articles that coach us on what to say and do for our friends and family that lose their jobs? Where are the articles or books teaching us how to gracefully cope with the emotional roller coasters we're about to endure? I'm sure if you want to take this literally, there probably are books out there that share someones struggle with some helpful tips on what to say or do. The truth is....there really isn't anything anyone can say to make things better. No one can prepare you for the gnawing feeling in gut that is really the potential fear of losing your home or perhaps filing bankruptcy. No one can help you prioritize which possessions to start selling in order buy groceries that week. Those who are close to you will listen, be empathetic and tell you things will turn around. You may even believe them. I did, and hopefully still do.

I'm sure there's a point in time in everyone's life where they feel like they've hit bottom. I like to be the cup is half full person so if I'm at bottom that means it can only go up from here, right? It hit me hard when I came to a realization that two college degrees means nothing when times are tough. I grew up thinking if I worked hard and put myself through college I wouldn't have to struggle. Wrong. I've come to a point where it's time to swallow my pride and simply do what needs to be done.

My grandma, God love her, can be a bit difficult. She's been through many hard times, but she was able to overcome obstacles late in life. Later than most would imagine. Yes, she gets on my nerves at times *eye roll* but I know she's been through numerous hardships. She has accomplished some amazing feats. I look up to her for this. So, that comment I made earlier about college....so what. Degrees don't entitle me to anything in life. I have to do the dirty work and take out the trash. I feel like I'm in the middle of a horrible reality show about getting knocked down and everyone is watching to see if I'll get back up and come back even stronger. I'm trying. My mind is constantly swirling and every day is a struggle. So if I seem a little out of sorts, I really am.

Last night I was out with a group of friends and found myself in an extremely uncomfortable situation. It's hard to accept that I can't be the best friend or daughter right now. I want to be giving, sympathetic, empathetic or joyful...whatever the occasion calls for but it's just not in me right now. I realize that we're all going through something, or a rough patch. I know things could always be worse. Some people are going through job loss, others divorce. Some have medical conditions hindering them from living a "normal" life and others even have a terminal illness. Yes, I'm well aware that I still have blessings to be thankful for, and I AM. That doesn't mean my situation is any easier. I find myself feeling like I should apologize for my behavior. Maybe I should, maybe I shouldn't. Perhaps I'm making a bigger deal of things than they really are. (I usually do) Hopefully, the family and friends closest to me realize that these are the cards I've been dealt and I may be a little slow on making my next move but I'm doing the best I can, right now.

The F in February is not for Fun

Fun February? No....it's more like freezing and frigid. I know I'm not alone when I say the month of February is a drag. For me this month has always been cold and dismal. The weather stinks and with the crazy ice storm we received yesterday the month has already lived up to the expectation. *grumble* My month started off with failing internet service, a painful trip to the dentist, a nail in one of my front tires and some other disappointing news. Awesome. Boohoo, right. Everyone has problems and if you're reading this you most likely didn't come here to read or here about my woes. So I suppose that's enough for now. How about a little escape to Margaritaville? It always brings a smile to my face. : )




Wondering about an update on my 2011 project 32? It's coming soon.

Overdue update

I started off my new year with this slightly overeager list of things to do by my birthday in May. Some people are a little skeptical, yet others are encouraging.

I've scratched a few items off my list. On Sunday, with the encouragement of a few friends I made cannoli and homemade pizza for the first time.


21. Make cannoli The cannoli, while edible they weren't quite right. It was definitely a learning experience. Gearing up to try again this weekend.
23. Make pizza dough from scratch, and then the pizza of course. The pizza was the second item made from scratch in the same day. Thank T for the use of your awesome Kitchen Aid stand mixer. Maybe I should just call her my sponsor for these two adventures. Anyway...the pizza was just okay. It too could use a little work, and I intend to try again.









During our recent snowpocalypse I decide to knock out another item on the list. I giggled my way through 19. Watch Some Like It Hot. I'm curious if a remake of the movie would be as charming. This was my first Marilyn movie and now I'm anxious to catch up on some of her others.

Three down, 29 to go and some of them seem a little daunting. Anyone interested in sponsoring one? I give "shout outs". Thanks for the encouragement, keep it coming!

My resolution....32 New Things

We're almost a full week into the year and I still haven't published my New Year's resolution. This year I thought I'd try something a little different. I'm borrowing an idea from Yes and Yes. I'm going to complete (er...attempt) 32 new things by my 32nd birthday on May 14th. Feel free to poke, prod and encourage me along over the next few months. I'll make an effort to post a follow-up blog to each one completed. I know...contain your enthusiasm. It's about to get pretty exciting. Ha!

1. Cook something with red wine
2. Obtain a paid marketing position/role
3. Skydive
4. Attend a water aerobics class
5. Take a dance class
6. Explore a new city
7. Purchase a more fuel efficient car
8. Bake a pie from scratch
9. Finish reading I Was Told There'd Be Cake (a book I've had for almost two years and keep putting off finishing)
10. Attend an event at The Lincoln Theatre
11. Walk the Olentangy trail from start to finish (13 miles, someone will need to pick me up and drive me back to the start)
12. Start learning a new language (Italian or Spanish)
13. Do a set of 50 push ups.
14. Start a business (finally)
15. Learn a design program/software
16. Take a belly dancing class
17. Go to a bar and have a drink by myself
18. Write article on customer service
19. Watch Some Like It Hot
20. Play paintball
21. Make cannoli
22. Take a (dreaded) spin class
23. Make pizza dough from scratch, and then the pizza of course.
24. Go ice skating
25. Play the lottery
26. Take Sammy horseback riding
27. Eat vegan for a day
28. Go on a blind date (friend set up, grrrr....)
29. Find a mentor
30. Tutor/mentor at a school
31. Plant/grow herbs
32. Ride in a helicopter

Lily Allen - Fuck You [Official Music Video]

Well, according to my byline...I'm supposed to share some humor. This song and video, although not new, is new to me and I find it sarcastic and refreshing so I thought I'd share. Enjoy! :)

Going through the desert...

A good friend sent this to me recently. It struck a chord within so I thought I would share.

There is Always a Bigger Picture

Our pastor said something the other day that really struck home for me. He said, "Everybody, at any given time is either coming out of a crisis, just moving into one, or is smack dab in the middle of one!"

He talked about how today, we all want "easy", we want "instant".

He said things like, "we need to bust through the quitting points."

A couple of weeks later a guest pastor talked about "the deserts we go through in life, and why we all need to go through them." The deserts are defined as the tough times, that strengthen us , and show us what we are made of. Only when we bust through the quitting points, will we learn who we are and what we are capable of.

Equally as important, he reminded me that sometimes we go through things so we can minister to others who are going through the same kind of trials we have been through. Not only do we understand someone's pain better when we have been through it, but that person is more receptive to our help when they know we have been there; they have confidence that you really understand what they are going through, and a renewed hope that they can break through. Here you are today, and you are ok.

Many of you have heard this story, but I will share it anyway: For a number of years, my husband and I enjoyed a fantastic income. We traveled a lot, had a beautiful home, drove new cars and so on. One day, I was talking with a leader about leader retreat. She shared that she couldn't afford to attend. So I said, "Just hold 6 extra shows between now and retreat and that will pay for it!" She responded with, "Shari, If I could hold 6 extra shows, I would buy my kids socks!"

I thought, "if you were really committed, you would figure out a way to go." I didn't get it. God made sure I did.

A few years later, I left my corporate job and went back into the field. About a year later 9-11 hit and my husband was laid off. It didn't take long for us to be in financial trouble. It didn't take too much longer after that for us to be wiped out. We went beyond broke, we had to leave our beautiful home, we were no longer driving new cars, in fact mine was 14 years old, we had phones turned off, water turned off, you name it, we experienced it. We argued over spending $2.98 on milk when Safeway had it for $2.39!

Suddenly, I got it! If I could do 6 more shows, I would pay a bill, or buy groceries! It was a horrific time, yet, I'm so glad I went through it. I needed to go through it. I needed to understand what other people were going through. I needed to live and walk in their shoes. I fear I would never have understood, had I not lived it. It's amazing how quickly you can forget what it's like to be under such a financial burden. I pray that I will never again be so insensitive to another.

My good friend Cindy has said to me many times, "Shari, what are you supposed to learn from this, because if you don't learn it, God will just give the same lesson again!"

I believe in my heart of hearts, that things happen for a reason. I don't mean that you should live passively and let life come to you. But when the unexpected happens, there is always a bigger picture that we can't see or understand, or an important lesson to be learned.

A while ago, I was working for a company in a corporate position. It was going great, my training team and I were making great progress and doing some pretty cool things. I felt so good about it in fact, that I decided to ask for a raise and a promotion.

I met with my boss, and much to my surprise she fired me. (I guess that meant the raise and promotion were out of the question)! I was devastated. I'd never been fired before in my life! In fact, I was the one they always brought in to "fix" things. I went home to my apartment, cried for a couple of hours, called my husband who was back in Washington and shared the good news. Bless his heart, it took all of about 5 minutes for him to digest, adjust, and say, "Well the good news is, you can come back home!" (I had been flying home Friday nights and back out of state every Sunday afternoon where I would spend the week).

He called me back a couple of hours later and said he thought it was time for me to start my own business. It was something we'd talked about doing in our retirement years, but he said it was time. I do like to do things my own way. That can certainly make me a challenging employee. My mantra has always been, "I'd rather get fired than not make a difference." Well, there you go!

In hindsight, I can see that the tough time, and getting fired, forced me into doing something I probably would have put off for many years. I started my own business. Today, I am so glad I got fired.

I remember about two and a half years ago our youngest daughter shared with us that she was pregnant. So the bad news is that she's pregnant. The good news is that she is pregnant. Yes it will be tough to be a single mom, but we knew she would be a great mom. It happened and you can't take it back.

Things happen, it's how we react to what happens that is important. What we do with it. We said over and over to Carli when she was pregnant, "The bad news is your life will never be the same; the good news is, your life will never be the same."

We don't always know the specific "why" when the "deserts" in our life are happening. In fact we almost never do, but if we are patient, it is always revealed. We didn't know all the reasons that our daughter had to go through this at the time. Immediately we saw so many good things come out of this situation. We watched Carli's immediate and extended family wrap around her like a warm blanket in the cold, being reminded again what dear friends we have as so many lifted us up in support and encouragement. Of course there were some pretty tough things to go through as well. But today we wonder where the sunshine was in all our lives before Isabelle arrived! She is 20 months old and has us all wrapped around her little finger! Carli is a great Mom! What felt like a crisis at the time is nothing but pure joy today.

I wasn't fired just so I could start my own business. I could still be working out of state, only home Friday night and Saturday. If I were, I wouldn't have been there when Carli needed me. I could have taken another corporate job and been on the road 5 days a week or living out of state again. But I didn't. Because I was fired I started my own business.

I am able to be very involved in this little darling's life. I am able to help Carli with childcare. In fact Carli works for Average To Excellence so Isabelle is here at the office Monday - Friday. We all take turns playing with her during the day. I can schedule my days anyway I choose. You can't do that when you are corporate. At the moment, I didn't understand why it was happening, why I was fired; Now it all seems crystal clear.

Life happens. We are all either coming out of a crisis, going into one, or smack dab in the middle of one. There is always a bigger picture we can't see at the time, or a lesson we need to learn, either for our own growth, or to be of support or help to others. It's still tough, but we will always be better for it! - Shari Hudspeth