So, I'm at a point again where I need to find a 2nd job. Something to supplement some additional income. When I was putting myself through college I never dreamed I'd be thirty and still struggling. It's tough when my friends and peers are living more comfortably at this stage than I am. Some have nice houses or condos, one just bought a Mercedes. Really? I'm driving the same Jeep I've had for almost eight years and it's literally starting to fall apart. I know these are the cards I've been dealt and some days I'm better playing them than others. Lately, I've just been wondering...is it really sad that I'm at this state? Should I have not accomplished more and be more secure at this point in my life. Clearly I haven't made all the right choices or I wouldn't be in this position. I guess that challenge is to remedy the situation now and in the future.
Today I was online calculating some payment plans for credit card debt reduction. It is thoroughly depressing. How did I ever get myself into this situation. Well, I have a whole house full of crap to show for it. Somehow, it doesn't quite add up though. I mean if I were to sell everything now, I don't think it would pay off the full balance. How sad.
I don't know. Maybe it's still acceptable to be at this stage of my life. I guess I need to ask when it's no longer acceptable. How much more time do I have to repair this? When does it become truly sad?
My grandma always tells me the story about how she never really became "something" until she was in her 50's. She was deprived her whole life. I believe she was 53 when she learned to drive and started her own business. This gives me comfort that maybe there's still time for me to turn things around. If I develop the right drive and become half as successful as my grandmother achieved I'll be doing alright.
Maybe the fact that I'm having these thoughts now is a sign I'm on the right track. I think that's enough to help me get to sleep tonight. Good night!
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